So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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