heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
