Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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