im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
