Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
