I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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