You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
