Where is the hickey?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
