you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There r osticjed everywhere
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
