he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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