Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my shit smells like andre
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
