Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
