so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
