I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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