Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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