The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
