Three words: puerto rican gang bang
too bad you live with your parents still
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
