we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
