Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
