Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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