people are starting to question the shark bite story
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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