okay pat passed out under dana's car
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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