Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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