3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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