ugly people sure do ruin things
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
