I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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