Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
