ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
