It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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