We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
