Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
