Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
