i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
