I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
