We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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