why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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