jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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