Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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