You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
