batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
