literally had 100 drinks last night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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