Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
