I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
