Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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