It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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