we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
