Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
