Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
