Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
