Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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