he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
