So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
